J-E-T-S

I have been in New York, returning to my roots. In the grand tradition of being a Cass, I have been doing some serious eating. That’s what my family does. We enjoy cooking, but more importantly eating, and I have gained three pounds in one week to prove it. Needless to say the next few weeks of this blog will be scarce as fasting is most certainly in order (is there some Jewish Holiday that can help me accomplish this?). My parents have spent the past week whoring me out to local restaurants and home cooking so as to ensure I live no older than 60 and resemble a female John Candy (their toast does fit through the door). Upon my arrival tailgating and a Jets game was in order. Now tailgating is a serious business. Every once in a while you can get away with grabbing a chicken cutlet sandwich from Rockies and a twelver if your heading to a game after work.... but when your going to a pre-season game (subs become stars i.e. Clowny), tailgating may very well be the damn highlight. GEAR UP. I was unaware of the extreme prep some people put into a tailgate, but the sewer that is the meadowland parking lot was flooded with personalized oven mitts, foldable pong tables, JETS trailers filled with every style grill, full bars, motorized coolers (so you can visit your buddy in the next spot and bring drinks!) and of course annoying fucking jet fans screaming at every unfortunate soul not wearing jets regalia. I was in awe. I was shocked. I was lovin' it.

My brother and dad had been tailgating traditionally for a few years and came equipped with a gorge charcoal grill, a fold out Velcro table, two coolers, various grilling tools, and fold up chairs as well as the back of the (there can only be one) Highlander for additional seating.

The night before was a mission of food prep. In preparing your food it is important to think variety. Think of whom you are cooking for. If it’s your cheap buddies a thirty of natty and some burgers could do, but not the Cass'. We do a full on stop and shop. Our menu would consist of the following:

Chicken and veggie kabobs on pita

Burgers with onion and peppers in them

Hot Dogs (All beef)

Mexican seven-layer dip

Potato Salad

Macaroni Salad

Pickles and Chips

Beer

Oreo Balls (as good as they sound)

Chocolate Entenmanns donuts

Heart Attacks

The list appears long but actually did not require much, admittedly some things were supermarket supplemented.

For the chicken, cut it into bite size pieces, marinate it in a Greek salad dressing over night and salt and pepper it. Slice up zucchini and peppers and salt and pepper those as well. Stick those on either metal or wood skewers (soak wooden ones in water for twelve hours) rotating between veggies and chicken. Package in a foil pouch for easy transports and throw on the grill. Stuff in a pita with some feta cheese and more dressing for a compact snack.

Burgers: Combine ground beef with chopped up onions and peppers. Add in two tbls Worchester’s sauce, 4 tbls your favorite bbq sauce, salt and pepper. Add chunks of cheddar right into the mix for a gluttonous surprise. Mold into patties. They will be a bit crumbly on the grill so cook on a cooler area of the grill.

Hot Dogs/ various salads/ donuts: This would be the cheating portion. You can very well make your own cold salads and I suggest it as it’s simple and delicious, but sometimes it’s easier to stop in at your local deli or grocer and pick up a few lbs. As for hot dogs, you can tube your own meat product if you wish but that just is perve. We enjoy a kosher all beef style from Hebrew National on a bun. Dress it with mustard, ketchup, veggies or mayo. The donuts were my brother and dad's weird tradition but they are a perfect sweet for the car ride home if you are trying to conceive a food baby.

Oreo Balls----> My cousin presented us with these and holy shit! A highly inappropriate yet sinful delight. These are easy to prepare as well. Crush up one package of Oreos and mix in one block of cream cheese. Mold into balls. Dip in melted semi sweet chocolate. Allow to set. Eat with out looking seductive.

Seven Layer Dip---> Also a "damn my Irish catholic side can actually cook... who knew?" addition. I thought they were only capable of flavorless meats, waterboarded vegetables and magically making leftovers appear that never had an origin. This was simply salsa, sour cream, lettuce, cheese, onions, olives and refried beans all layers in a aluminum sheet dish. Add meat if you want to take up two seats in the stadium.

There it is folks. A feast for a village. Don't forget the beer, it will make the Guido jets' fans more tolerable. I cannot stress this enough. We ate our faces off, saw Sanchez throw a great 50 yd pass and then sat through a bunch of unnotable plays, but had a blast. People watching highly suggested.